So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you traded sex for a burrito?
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we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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