At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
