we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
