God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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