btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
