'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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