Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
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Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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