You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I had to cum in my sink.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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