Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
