Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
