Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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