I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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