Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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