All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My day in three words: secret purse cake
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
