and you said cock pushups were impossible
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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