i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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