whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
