; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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