I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
