Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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