wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
