Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
