Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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