I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
