; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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