Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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