I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
