I don't think brook has ever known best
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
