Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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