Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
