Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize