Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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