So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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