So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I will be naked everywhere
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
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