SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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