No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
