i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
