I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I want a musical about memes.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
