i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
