i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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