I hate your face
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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