What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
