I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
