Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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