Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
