i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
my being single is dangerous.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
