Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
