i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
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we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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