If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
