i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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