So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
