My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
