Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
