Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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