WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
