and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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