If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize