Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
