She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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