Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
