OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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