Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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