Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
